The Playbook Of Achieving Bipartisan Compromise on Health Reform

The Disease Management Care Blog commiserates with our President’s ongoing struggle to get the obstinate Republicans to join with him in passing health reform legislation. After engaging in literally, like, hours of face-to-face dialog with them over the last year, the President, in the gracious spirit of bipartisanship, has included their ideas for fake patients, fake physician liability tort reform, fake ‘fiscally responsible’ increases in Medicaid fee schedules and faking right but going left with Health Savings Accounts.

The DMCB has seen this before, since it's the same playbook it uses when dueling with the DMCB spouse over the 'On-Demand' cable movie menu on our single hi-def screen:

DMCB: “Check this out. On-Demand has a new movie option: Brain Eating Babe-Zombies from Babylon and Beyond. Let’s watch it!”

DMCB Spouse: “I don’t want to watch that movie, it’s stupid!”

DMCB (earnestly engaging in conciliatory dialog): “Well, we shouldn’t let the standard of great movies be the enemy of good movies. What's more, its plot explores the impermanency of modern life and features the acting of that talented starlet, Victoria Vixendunoir. Back when Reagan was in the White House, you said you liked those kinds of movies.”

DMCB Spouse: “You know full well I’ve always hated movies like that. I have another option: Let’s go with the The Adoring Purple Butterflies of Fluttering Love. We can also cuddle while we watch it.”

DMCB (despite being confronted with a different paradigm, it seeks understanding and demonstrates its openess to suggestions): "We’ve already watched one of your movies. Help me help you help me understand why you don’t want to watch this Babes movie. It’s gotten good reviews. Is it too long? Should I make some popcorn?"

DMCB Spouse: "The last time we watched a movie that I wanted to watch was the Sound of Music and that was more than five years ago. And getting a "Four Wenches" rating from the American Manlymen Association is not a good review. I’d rather watch Project Runway, it’s on in half an hour."

DMCB (achieving breakthrough and conciliation): "Wonderful suggestions, so let’s move forward and incorporate them in tonight’s movie watching compromise. We can start Babes now and in half an hour you can go downstairs and watch your Project Runway! You’re the greatest, and it's all because of me! Now that we've made such progress, let's discuss my great idea about decorating the front yard with statuette of a Norwegian troll..."