Tuesday, November 15, 2011

What Are The Presidential Candidates' Positions On The Patient Centered Medical Home?

As a public service, the Disease Management Care Blog is happy to build on what we know about the positions of the Republican Presidential candidates on health reform and speculate on the likely debate answers that the front runners would give if they were asked about the Patient Centered Medical Home.  By facilitating this political narrative, the DMCB hopes our candidates are now free to address the issues that really matter, like whether exposed men's toes are ever appropriate in the workplace, why airport skybridge personnel vanish when flights arrive after 11 PM and whether dermatologists working in ACOs could ever relearn which part of a stethoscope goes in the ears.

Rick Perry:  "I'm opposed to P-C-M-H because they are one, 'patient centered,' two 'medical' and three.... um, I forgot what that third H is for.....ooops."

Mitt Romney: "While I supported it in Massachusetts, I oppose it now because the federal government supports it in other states, where it is both supported and opposed.  We also don't know if this approach to care will reduce elevated costs going down."

Newt Gingrich: "This is a constitutionally catastrophic and unprecedented intrusion of enormous federal power of stunning proportions.  Truman wouldn't have stood for this and Lincoln would be shocked, which is why you should buy my book."

Herman Cain:" I am opposed to the patient centered medical home because primary care should rely on teaming and electronic records so that they can take better care of patients."

Michelle Bachman: "A woman told me that her baby is brain damaged because of care received at a medical home!"

Ron Paul: "I don't see the words "patient centered" in the U.S. Constitution and what's more, when we switch to the gold standard, we won't be able to afford it."


pheski said...

Better Cain: "We don't need patient centered medical homes. I didn't need customer centered pizza parlors. All we need is for all doctors to have a phone number in area code 9 - 9 - 9."

Jaan Sidorov said...

THAT was hilarious. How about...

"I also have a 9 - 9 - 9 plan for medical homes. As a business man, I motivated pizza workers and I can motivate physicians. First of all, they need to see 9 patients every hour. Then I'll order Congress to fix the SGR by reducing rates only 9%. Finally each doc will get a voucher for 9 pizzas in lieu of cash."