Suggestions for Managing Health Reform in 2014

Unfortunately for Mr. Obama, the spotlight on the some of the more unsavory aspects of the NSA's surveillance programs has forced him to call for "changes." In doing so, he turned to every rhetorical trick at his command, including minimizing Snowden's role, obfuscating the original intentions of the Patriot Act's authors and countering with largely cosmetic tweaks.

Good thing that Obamacare has avoided a similar fate. Despite similar levels of public skepticism further compounded by the steady drip of implementation delays with other unintended consequences, the President can hang tough by resisting any and all statutory changes to the Affordable Care Act. Signaling any willingness to alter the legislation could embolden his foes, dismay his allies and prompt countless poison pill amendments.

The obvious political calculus:  silence, veto threats and burying any changes in web site legalese.

Yet, the ever-prepared Disease Management Care Blog wants to help.  In the unlikely event that Mr. Obama has to compromise on health care reform without really compromising, it offers up this teleprompter-ready statement that incorporates condescension, selected truths and confusion:

"Despite my calls for bipartisan dialogue on how to further vilify fat-cat insurance executives, the debate on how to best implement Obamacare has proceeded in a not-always civil way. Like the DMCB's mother, I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. [applause] 

While I'm annoyed at the failure of my supporters and opponents to grasp the obvious, I'm also reassured that 20% of our nation's GDP is being expertly managed by our superbly trained White House health economists. [applause]  You should be too.  [applause]

I also know that continued unmanaged debate could complicate health care reform faster than one of my lawyer-friends suing an ACO for withholding care. That's why, effective today, I'm changing the subject by announcing that I will meet with hand-picked members of Congress.  I'll seek to improve the public's confidence in Obamacare by creating legislation that establishes the Commission of Official Managerial Assessment (COMA).  This will be a special office within the IRS. This expert commission will monitor, report, assess, analyze, examine, subpoena, audit, interpret, leak, manage, spin and regulate key aspects of Affordable Care Act's implementation.

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