Friday, August 7, 2015

Channeling the Fox News Rebublican Debate for Health Care Reform

Last night, the Population Health Blog secured a suitable beverage supply, pulled up a chair and tuned to the Republican Party debate. As predicted, there was little substantive attention to health reform.

That won't stop the PHB.   Lacking specifics, it's offering an important public service by channeling the debate's bombast to a hypothetical question:

"Specifically, what is the first thing you would do on the first day of your administration, as the next U.S. President, to control the growth of health care spending?"

Chris Christie - "I'd do hugs, not drugs!"

Scott Walker - "Since they've hacked all our medical records anyway, let's outsource it to China."

Rand Paul - "Stop the outsourcing of how we pay for it to China!"

Ben Carson - I've done brain surgery on conjoined Siamese Twin health policy specialists; one lost their brain and when I was done, I couldn't tell the difference between the two!"

Donald Trump - "You're stupid for even asking that, but I'd build a wall around every hospital."

Jeb Bush - "If everyone ate some milquetoast everyday like I do, they'd be calm and healthy, like me!"

Ted Cruz - "I'd shut down the government."

John Kasich - "If all Americans would only go to Ohio hospitals, costs would go down."

Marco Rubio - "I had a $100,000 in educational loans, and I look forward to $100,000 in loans to pay for my health care bills."

Mike Huckabee - "The purpose of health care is not not kill people or break things!"

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