A Generic Ready-To-Go Accountable Care Organization (ACO) Press Release

Is your health care organization about to launch an "accountable care organization" involving a commercial insurer? Welcome to the club, says the Disease Management Care Blog.  Now that you've joined the hundreds of other providers in this latest craze, the first thing you need to do is to get your public relations folks to fashion a press release.

The DMCB feels your pain.  Having to explain just how actuarial cost trend "accountability" really works to a public relations department that already has trouble telling the difference between diabetes and dialysis is bad enough.  You don't understand it either!

The DMCB to your rescue with a generic press release.  It's been reading a lot of these lately and has discovered that the ideal announcement 1) uses a lot of jargon and 2) offers no details on how the ACO will actually work.

Feel free to copy, cut and paste to your organization's letterhead as needed.

PRESS RELEASE

Media Contacts: Lotta Jargon
The Titan Clinic
noidea@monopolycare.com

Titan Clinic System and Behemoth Insurance Collaborate to Create Accountable Care Initiative

ROSY GLASSES, WT  – Aug 7, 2012 – Behemoth Insurance (NYSE:TBTF) and the Titan Clinic System have initiated an epic collaborative accountable care initiative that will epicly initiate expanded patient-centered access to a triple-aim focused and consumer-centric health care initiative. This collaboration will drive health outcomes, utilize the patient centered medical home neighborhood, maximize self-care, prevent chronic conditions, achieve wellness, reduce medical costs, lower admissions, improve quality of life, grow community partnerships, measure patient satisfaction, invent shared savings, boost consultant employment levels and return honor to the sport of badminton.

Titan is a modern not-for-profit hospital and physician organization that is not the same as a 1990’s physician hospital organization (PHO) that coordinates, manages, disseminates and monetizes care resources and technology to maximize bottom-line tax-free surpluses. A pioneer in specialist-dominated medicine, Titan discovered that it had 5 primary care clinics all along. This insight led it to to buy another 40 to refer a patient base of 500,000 patients within a 3 hour driving radius to Titan.

"Titan’s CEO, Ivan Bigego, is a nationally recognized speaker on the topic of accountable care, which is why we think the Clinic is a good fit for our insurance company,” said Behemoth’s Chief Executive Officer Max Gains. “We believe this arrangement offers an opportunity for us to market that we improve health care quality, lower medical costs and help our patients lead healthier and more productive lives.”

"This accountable care program will coordinate a preexisting suite of integrated services that support and rebrand the electronic record, care management informatics and aligned reimbursement methodologies that we invested in years ago." declared Ed Vertising, Chief Marketing Officer of Titan.

"We're pleased to be part of the Behemoth family of nation-states," noted Dr. Ego. "By relabeling the services we've been providing all along, we can minimize disruption for both our patients and physicians." he said.  "They won't notice a thing," he added.

“Like Facebook’s business model, claiming to enhance the patient care experience to the advantage of our organization will result in a strong patient-centric and outcomes-based cash flow,” noted Behemoth’s Board Chair Garner Shekels.